Παραθέτω ένα κομμάτι από μήνυμα, που έλαβα χθες ...
.....
Torn between bringing up past memories and the stirring of a little insecurity of what you will say to this, I am still unsure if I should have reached out to you. But more than anything, I am surprised about how starkly I remember you. I wonder if these memories were waiting, biding their time to spring back up again.
But I think I know that is not what it is.
I think if I pluck up enough courage to admit it to myself, I will find that the truth is, I am still in love with you.
This is not a proposal, not even an attempt to rekindle a flame. I remember very clearly the circumstances we parted ways in. But sometimes I wonder what would have been if the situation was different, if I would have acted a little less selfish and a little more understanding.
I wonder what would have been if we met at a different time.
I must say I did resent you for a very, very long time after I was gone. I even resented you for the things you did right because that only made it harder to completely get you off my mind. But as hard as I tried, I could never get myself to hate you.
I don't think that can be done, you know? Trust me, I tried.
You can be pissed for a very long time, you can replay every single bitter thing said and done, every cold and harsh word faced, you can remind yourself all the nights spent crying under the blanket ...but after all those wounds heal, I think the love somehow remains.
I don't pine over you now. I don't miss you intensely either. There is no craving, the absolute need to hear your voice, but there are still days when I think of you and wonder where you are in life. And I want to know if you are happy.
But I do hope you are happy, really.
....
